It’s a bad day… i feel rejected, insignificant, hopeless and useless
I’ve had enough and can’t see the light
I don’t want to live my life like this, and I have no hope at all for the future
It’s not worth being here… unlovable, unnecessary, useless, devoid of any value, and in fact, perhaps even value reducing. Ugly, fat, unhygienic, disgusting, lazy, irritating, so alone, so disgustingly filthy, and incapable of anything good. I hate myself so much, I could scream! I hate myself more than anything else in this world.
Sure there may be a few people that might be upset, but here aren’t many, and they’d get over it quickly because I am insignificant
Right, tablets at the ready, vodka at the ready
Need to plan the situation properly so I don’t leave a mess behind
Leave a message for my sister, that will prepare her
A taxi has been organised for you, and I’m so sorry I wasn’t strong enough
Phone the police and tell them there’s a dead body
The house keys will be in the post box
Don’t come into my flat. Get the police to do it
Account details, my estate, my will, any other details
Tidy up the house, move the furniture, so that it’s easily move able, put food out for the dogs and cats
Put charitable contributions on the pavement, including food
Make the bed, and cover it with a blanket, just in case any mess happens
Close all social media accounts, cancel contracts, garden service, etc
Shower, put make up, deodorant, nice clothes
Ok, time to do this
Tablets in hand, vodka close by… … … …
But what about work
What about the exciting things that we’re going to do
I really look forward to going in every day, and love the team
I guess I can pause the plan for a day or two so I can go back to work for a day
I’ll need to get something to fix me… that might be better than the first plan
Disaster averted… For now